Author: Simone

Loves to tell and hear untold stories about people, places and experiences!

No Hiding.

The more you hide, the less you’re seen, the less likely it is for you to shine when it’s your time to shine.

Sometimes it seems like a good idea to hide the flaws. But sometimes the flaws can turn out to be the blessing that we need. It can be the thing that separates a someone from an everyone. I use to like sitting back and let everyone else do the talking and make the plans and I just go along. But I have learned that you can’t hide behind everyone, all the time. One day, if only for that one time you will not have the human shields that keep you from answering the hard questions and making the tough decisions. Being anonymous is a great place to be for those who do not like the lime light. However, if in the act of reaching the goals you have set, you you have to take the spotlight, hiding may hinder you from seeing clearly what you should grab a hold of.

Image result for You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you

It also make it easier for someone to be ignored, even if everyone can clearly see you. Even if it is clear how talented you are and how invaluable your contribution, there are many more less capable and talented persons who are willing to make the noise that will lead to change. Therefore, while someone is there resting in the knowledge of their worth, it just may not be enough to be recognized; sometimes there is necessary noise to be made:

While silence is golden, noise can tell the true story.

Don’ hide your light under a bushel (Matt. 5: 15-16). Sometimes it seems like it’s being humble to do this. We tell ourselves that we are modest and therefore being good. But, this can be an excuse to do nothing, in order not to be judged or accused of anything unpleasant. Hiding becomes a way to be present but absent at the same time. No one can say we are not there, but no one can accuse of doing anything while there.

Hiding can become a way to deny who you are and that can be a limiting experience. Regret not only comes from not doing what you want to do but also being what everyone expects you to be, except yourself. It’s best to stop, when hiding becomes a hazard to prevents you from living life to the fullest.

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Mirror.

When you see all your faults mirrored in someone else
it becomes clear.
We are not what we think we are.
When the monster you are looking at is yourself,
somehow the Hans version of the fairy tale
becomes the reality.
What stands before you is the monster you tried to deny.
The one coming up 
when you thought you slayed it.
What a train wreck of a reality,
so much so that it's hard to look away.
You cower in fear at how ruthless you can be.
You stand paralyzed by the evidence of your vicious intent.
When you can look no more,
can listen no more
see no more
then
you either surrender to it 
or 
slay it one last time.
Human Face Wall Painting

Health Over Wealth.

Health is the greatest gift,

Contentment the greatest wealth,

Faithfulness the best relationship

Budda

I use to believe that success was measured in how much you had and how much you were able to do in a short mount of time. However, lately I have been taking my head out of the stand and I noticed something. Better yet I realized something, you don’t always have to be first out of the blocks first or fastest to win the race. I use to think, because I was taught this, that all you had to do was make it early, then success for a lifetime was guaranteed. Also, with my heads in the clouds, I thought that all you had to do, was do the “right thing”, be a “good person” and things were guaranteed to work in your favor. Now for me this mindset has led to many disappointing dead ends. I had to learn the hard way that life does not take place in a vacuum.

Bad things happen to everyone, and no one can ever be perfect.

There was one idea of success that I was told about when I was younger and only one that mattered. It was the success based on working hard, not ruffling any feathers and being a team player. Now maybe nothing is wrong with each item on its own, however, for me, what happened was that I interpreted it in such a way that it affected me badly, not only physically but mentally as well. So I spent my 20’s trying to fit into where I thought I should be and now it feels as if I first have to unlearn all the things I told myself I needed to learn even if it killed me, literally. I need find out what works for me, in a world that can and will happily leave me to be me.

Being mindful of what you do is more important than, running with it. When things happen that you never expected, stop and think what you want to do with this sudden twist. I made mistakes in how I handled sudden changes, impending changes or sudden windfalls, and I have many regrets; regret, it is a bitter, brittle pill to swallow. It doesn’t matter what it is, before you react, especially to something unexpected, good or bad, stop and take the time to think things through. Pray about it and take the time to check in with yourself before you react. Once you have come to a decision don’t change your mind or you could waste time trying to do damage control.

It was always important to be the best at everything. So I tried to be perfect. Perfect daughter, niece, friend and worker. However, this is impossible. Also, perfection takes too much work and second guessing your choices, until it makes the thinker crazy and lonely with bad choices. Plus, I don’t think anyone was measuring my level of perfection.

When you try to be perfect, people always expect you to be a certain way and when you can’t maintain it but try to, the only one to suffer is the person working around the clock to keep that perfect phantom perfect alive.

So, I have decided to stop.

To stop and take a break, and procrastinate from procrastinating from being real.

Being real is much harder than faking it. When you are real you have to be honest. I now confess that many times I did stuff, not so important stuff because I wanted to be on the “right side”. I said a lot of stuff, really unimportant stuff because I wanted to, “be good”.

So It’s health over wealth. No more trying to be the success that I think I should be, but, the one I can be. The world I occupy is too small for me, so out the door I shall go and see what peace lies behind it.

Wish me luck…

Bird Standing on Shore Line during Golden Hour

Inspire

How to defeat bad habits? When procrastination is your best friend and negative talk has been your only support for so long, how do you have a reversal of fortunes?

I am sure that asking the questions are easier than answering them. It is normal to seek inspiration and the motivation to do great things from outside. From those who have overcome obstacles that seemed impossible to overcome. However, does it really matter if we are inspired by others or from within? I once heard an actor say he was never inspired by another actor. So how and why did he become one? Well there are specific things that each of us want to accomplish or would like to achieve, should we wait on someone to come along and inspire us to take the plunge and pursue what we want to pursue?

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I have come to realize that it is easy to become swept away by the expectations of others and end up going in circles. If everyone was to do everything and make all their decisions based on what they thought others expected then most dreams would die a swift death. The greatest blockage to our success in any area of life, can be our unwillingness to make the tough decisions, because we don’t want to offend or disappoint anyone.

However, maybe it is time to make those decisions and forget about being a disappointment. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to be inspired from within and not from anyone. Maybe it’s okay not to have fantastic heroes that are goals, but a quiet confidence about what lies within.

Maybe we should not aim to inspire anyone but just be real, and that means being willing to show the strengths and vulnerability as they naturally occur.

Keep Living.

Since the start of 2020 many people view what’s happening at home and around the world and just want to take a permanent break from life.

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Let’s hope no one stays at this point for the rest of the year.

So, at first I did not take the corona virus seriously. When you don’t know, you don’t know.

However, the rate of infection across the world is alarming and so requires everyone’s full attention. But, let’s be optimistic and pray for a speedy recovery from it. Though over 85000 global cases and a death toll of even one person, much less over 2,900 is a little, tiny bit alarming. This virus is a reminder, we may all feel we did not need, of how quickly the world as we know it can change.

With the real possibility of the outbreak becoming pandemic in 3, 2, 1… We are all grappling to make sense of our own lives much less the threat of a “novel” virus, breathing down our collective necks, relentlessly. I know here in Jamaica many jokingly agree that if it gets here we are all doomed, but if we don’t laugh what will we do? Why cry of course.

“Take a break but we should not retire”

However, we do not cry but crack jokes about climbing the Blue Mountains to escape it, but invariably someone has to point out that many would freeze so “it don’t make sense”. Ah boy, some people just won’t let others win! So while we try to outwit each other with witticisms about how to escape this thing; c’est la vie .

So we try every day to be as normal as possible – which by the way, normal can be very subjective. However, things happen daily that give us a proverbial lesson that planning is good, but not always foolproof. Does that mean we should just wait out the storms when they come?

While we may have the opportunity to take cover and wait out a difficult period, we should never stop going, especially when we have a deep conviction about what we are doing. We may take a break but we should not retire from taking the actions that will help us, to advance closer to where we want to be. While we may miss the target many times, we must still aim for the bull’s eye. While we may move forward with uncontrollable fear weakening our steps, we should never stop moving. We should never stop taking action. We should never stop laughing, even with the tears that seem unrelenting. We should never stop making things a little more bearable for everyone with our words and action We should never stop trying to give of our best, even if our best has to be redefined. Even when we stop, let us stop for a while, but keep going when the while has passed.

Life is a beautiful puzzle we all need to embrace, to pick a part and put back together, because we have no other choice, because we have been blessed with it. So while we face the challenges great and small, local and global, maybe we should not make it more complicated by causing traffic jams but just keep moving.

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Ya Don’t Belong.

Well, this may seem a bit harsh but, listen to me for a minute.

We all want to belong somewhere to represent something and to realize that we have a community we belong to. All very human and hence very natural. However, as the picture above shows, just because you fit doesn’t mean you belong.

That image is genius for the simple reason that sometimes when we pray we pray to fit somewhere and not to belong there. Now we may not have thought before about the difference but it’s very important.

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Now common sense says when you fit it means you want to be there you have inserted yourself in the mix but no one else may want you there except you. Imagine that situation – well most of us can because we have tried or are trying to fit in – you struggle all your life to be accepted somewhere where all you have experienced is a struggle and not triumph.

Now to belong, the word even sounds so right, so warm and inviting, is something different. To belong means that you want to be there and you are wanted there. In such a situation others will uplift you, support and guide you in the right way. There is no need to struggle because you are with people, whose support you fully have.

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But guess what? We don’t need to fit in, because fitting in a choice that we make. We don’t need to do what everyone is doing or chasing the same dream. We don’t need to panic because we have reached a “milestone” and don’t have everything nicely figured out. We can throw away the goal post all together instead of just moving it! We certainly don’t need to chase anyone down to be seen; that leads to burn out. Plus, it means that you will never go beyond a certain point because you have limited yourself in a space you never belonged in the first place.

Instead, do what makes you happy, it’s hard for many but all we can do is work at it. Also it helps to be around people who you have things in common with, this too is hard for some, but again, not impossible. So, there is a running theme here, if you want to belong you have to step outside that comfort box and do the mileage.

I’m sure that if we really want to feel comfortable in our skin and experience some of that sublime joy that belonging brings. the work won’t seem hard at all. There is a quote that I wan leave you with a mind-blowing, earth-shattering quote:

THE OPPOSITE OF FITTING IN IS BELONGING

Prove Yourself!

What does it mean to prove yourself? Also, who stands to benefit the most from your doing so?

Sure there are persons who don’t care what others think of them or what they do. However, there are more persons who do. Those of us who do spend too much time worrying of been labeled a “bad persons”. Too much time is spent trying to appease everyone whose opinions we think matter and none on discovering things about ourselves.

Many feel they have to be constantly proving their worth based on the expectations of others or even their humanity. It becomes a tragic tale of trying to keep up with the Joneses when the Jonese do not really care. When we cannot keep up, many persons decided that there are things inherently flawed about them, that they are broken and irredeemable. Having this mindset, has led many persons to fall into the rabbit hole of a depression that is nearly impossible to ever truly get out of. Therefore, it is important to be aware of when you begin this descent, to break the fall so that you do not go too deep.

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It’s difficult to be like someone else, because we are not suppose to. It’s hard to be successful, because we are operating on someone else’s idea of success. It’s hard to define who we are, because we think we have to be defined. It’s hard to prove ourselves, because we have nothing to prove.

In high school I had the bestest friend ever, and I often saw her as the complete opposite of me. When I was still loud, immature and still a tomboy, she was quiet, mature and lady like. When I was thrilled by a good cuss-out and fighting she was not amused. However, I loved her; she was nothing like me, at times she was so nice she made me so sick, in the best way possible. But I appreciated her because she made me realize that it wasn’t always necessary to be loud and rough and a general wild child. I on the other hand, think I helped her to be a little less uptight. At the end of the day, I did not see our differences at that young age as a barrier, but as a way we complimented each other. I had nothing to prove to her and neither did she to me, we just got each other and loved each other for our differences.

However, I have noticed that it is as we get older that live really does a number on us. As we get older we are expected to be a certain way and be living a certain live that just is not realistic; we are not the same. We all cannot pursue the same dreams and care about the same things. Persons who are trying to have that universal dream , have to be honest enough to know that in trying to prove something they may end up being impostors. The need to wear a mask becomes one of the by-products of proving things to others. We become ten different versions of a self we cannot come to terms with and end up being far from our compass.

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Anger becomes another by-product. Many who are angry at the world, reach that point because it seems no matter how hard they try, they always fall short. So they become angry at friends, family, the old lady down the road, the man walking pass them, the children making too much noise and the lucky few who boast about their accomplishments. Everything and everyone becomes a problem, until the only thing they have is their anger.

In a fair world we would know we don’t need to prove a thing to anyone. Our worth and value have always been there. Who we are has been known to us from birth. To question this, means that we either have or we are trying to prove to others that we are who they think we should be. What we all need to do is temper our expectations of what we can do; not trying to be all and have all, but confident in being your natural self.

There is no need to be ashamed of who you are. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are that label you have been pinned with and realize that you can never be anyone other than who you are.

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