I Won

I Won

I fought the devil last night I did
I fought the devil and won
I chased it into the deep night
I chased him into the ground.
No one told me it would be this hard
no body told it would feel so good.

The devil tried to scare me last night
he tried to get me on my knees
It tried to distract me
by putting death in front of me.
But I kept looking into the light
so he couldn't get me.

When I was finished it felt so good 
that I stood at the door and breathed
at the door where I cut him down
I stood and I paused
in relief and thought...

I fought the devil just now and won
My God!

I cried with all of my heart.

The Enemy Within

The Enemy Within


A spring bubbles up and bursts forth
lots of promise 
lots of pomp.
As it gets bigger and flows down
it faces lots of twist and turns.
The winding mounting from which it must descend
made it tired
and it stopped.
it gathered to itself
things it thought
would make it strong 
enough.
With each new stop it gathered more
some good,
mostly bad.
By the time it reached the sea
it had brought new dangers disguised as friend
though it was foe.
Because it loved it the sea 
rejoiced
with open arms
to receive the daggers it had wrought.

Taking a Break to Thrive.

Too much has been happening it seems lately: too many activities, too many disappointments, too much doubting of myself and too many dark thoughts to keep me down. So I am taking a break. I am going to turn off, walk away from and avoid all those things that make me feel anxious, sad and hopeless.

Yes, this can happen to anyone and there is a breaking point. I think I have reached that breaking point and before I am broken like brittle bones, devoid of the vital nutrients needed to thrive, I have decided to start by taking a break from social media. Since working mostly from home, over a year now, I realize that I have become dependent on social media for companionship, for entertainment, news and a pastime activities that fill points of my day that seem empty – even though the work is there piling up until I cannot ignore it or a deadline is approaching then I stress myself out to get it done. My anxieties, depression and fears were being fed by those seemingly informative medias that made me wonder, now that I am no longer engaged, how I went down those rabbit holes.

Going down the rabbit hole is surprisingly easy. However, when you begin to suffocate down there and you want to get out it is annoyingly hard to find your way back to a place where you feel comfortable once more. But The first part of getting out turns out to be the hardest, and that is actually stepping back. There are so many reasons to stay connected but when the connection feeds the monsters inside that tear you a part piece by piece then we have to dig in and fight to disconnect. The highs and lows can be too much and when you wake up in a good mood and end your day crying because of what you consume on those different platforms then it is necessary to sign off. For the past couple of weeks that has been me to a “T” and now I am mentally and physically tired – not to mention the strain of work, a remedy for disaster.

So, for eight days I will not be on social media unless it is for work. When those eight days end I will decide if I should extend the break and whether I want to make the break more extreme. I now realizing that what is most important to me, is my sanity. Being active on social media does not give that to me. We each have to find what works for us in protecting our sense of well being and mental Health.

Just Say

Just Say


There you are
I know you have much to say
much to share
can you do so now?

I have walked with you
listened as you echoed silence borne of fears
and tears
and deceit
like silent rivers
they have ran deep
and they cut.

But you must heal.

Take back your voice
listen to it
become a sonic bomb
bouncing off walls
that imprisoned you - 
until it leaves cracks.
Let light seep in and the sound take wings
fly 
and touch all
releasing Pan pon pan

Then stand on Pride Rock,
and watch your words create 
pandemonium.

I want to…

I Want to...

I want to get out of here this awful place
a fresh new journey

All I see are the clouds 
that hide all my dreams.
All I see are the small minds
that take you no where.

I want to get out of here this awful place
a fresh new journey

All I see are those dark clouds
they are my nightmares
dreams that speak death not life.
Somebody save me from my doubts.

I want to get out of here this awful place
a fresh new journey

All I see are black clouds
they try to consume me.
I see you
I see your pain as you try to escape.

I want to get out of here this awful place
a fresh new journey

I am drowning in all this rain.

When will the clouds blow away
when will the sun shine again?

Malum discordiea





Malum discordiea

Media Vita in Morte Sumus



Lily had been in that garden,
Where the waters flowed endlessly…
Where the green grandeur of the vegetation,
Soothed the mind and soul.

Then one day, without warning,
She jumped on a rickety rollicking raft,
Along with the slimy traitor;
Who's eyes hypnotized and blinded.

Lily felt so nice going down on that raft-
The wind in her hair,
As the resplendent beauty of what she was leaving behind, swirled by;
Leaving her dizzy with joy.

The ride ended though, in a whirlpool of decay.
The traitor has been ordered to crawl always,
Wandering.

And Lily, 
For her crime,
Has been sentenced to everlasting misery….

 
Malum discordiae= Latin for "apple of discord"
Media vita in morte sumus=Latin for "in the mist of our lives we die"

As the World Devolves

As the World Devolves


As the world devolves
broken
                     separate
fueled by hate
I will wait
try to recreate
the Eden real.

As missiles are launched
to rock and stripe
each person of their humanity
I will preserve our sanity.

Do you see this?
This is the key
our adinka of peace
As I ride my Sankofa
to retrieve
a promise left to die.

I must outrun the
this rabid wolf
White squall yapping at its heel

tearing everything it sees.

I avoid the holes
that could suck me in
and avoid the hell 
that could eat me whole.

But carefully I must
collect those stones
that gives life and not death.