Memories are like daggers and boulders
the cut deep anhd crush mercilessly.
I wish I could tell my youngerself
it's okay to be you
to not shrink to fit a mould
too small
limiting and not true.
Memories leave wounds that struggle to heal
festering with each new failure
until Little becomes a bid deal.
Them memories
choke the life out of your reality
because they mock the you
you buse to be
could have been should have been
may never be...
Memories are like daggers and boulders
At once their is deep joy and deathly pain
when you realise
you can never live that life again
burning lava snake down your face
and leave a trail of regret
that overwhelms and defeats
I have to hold tight
today I gain relieve by looking ahead
My tommorow may yet spring a mustard seed
Tag: change is necessary
Rooms…
This room I must leave
so I pack my things
ready to vacate this place
to making in this big bad world.
In this room I have been trapped
red tapes crushed me
regret,
great expectations
false hope
tied me up to die
in this cold solitary room.
I left
hopped on a plane wing
ready to use my voice
explore
discover
over power
disillusion and bring back dreams
locked in that room.
So I made it
landed in cool conditions
I was so glad...
Now,
I sit in this room
and wander...
A Chapter Closes
A chapter closes
dark clouds give way
light shines into darkness
mourning will not stay...
I can see the morning
stars shining through
a place unknown
before my birth foretold...
I am thakful for the rains
the thunderstorms and hails
they provided the water
so new plants will not fail...
New shoots hurry quickly
ready to capture the sun
to leap into the unexpected,
Thank God! Shalom.
Maladaptive Daydreaming and Sleep
So much trouble in the world
So much trouble in the worldBless my eyes this morning
Bob Marley and the Wailer, Survival Album, 1979
Jah sun is on the rise once again
The way earthly things are going
Anything can happen
Yes, there is so much trouble in the world right now and it seems forever that escapism seems to be a drug more and more of us feel compelled to take. Some forms of escapism include physical activities (yes that is correct), working, overeating (guilty), alcohol abuse, drug abuse, substance abuse, pornography, gambling, daydreaming and the list goes on. Escapism is a fancy way of saying we tap out for a while because we cannot or refuse to deal with some aspect of life or life in totality. We do not want to be reminded of things or baggage we keep dragging around so we seek solace in one thing or another. While we think we are escaping we are killing ourselves. Escapism, which includes suppressing our emotions, has been linked to a 35% increase in death and a 70% increase in death from cancer. Now, other side effects of escapism do not paint a very glowing picture of what many believe to be a balm from reality. This is because escapism has been linked to addiction, withdrawal, mental health challenges, loss of job, decreased productivity, physical health challenges and relationship challenges.
Now Maladaptive daydreaming can be viewed as meeting at an intersection with escapism:
For those that are more introverted and potentially have a more creative disposition, the way in which they dissociate from themselves is not by getting absorbed in the exterior world, but rather by entering further into a more abstract interior world via daydreaming.
https://maladaptivedaydreaming.org/blogs/md/the-intersection-between-maladaptive-daydreaming-and-escapism
The danger of maladaptive daydreaming is that we become so enticed by the escape internally that over time many spend more time there and develop a wrapped sense of reality and may even come to despise their lives because it does not match where our internal world takes us. It leads to an imbalance. It leads to disease. This disease can manifest from daydreaming to insomnia and daydreaming, a cycle that can adversely affect the quality of our lives. We escape from reality and may want to stay in our controlled crafted world which leads to less and less sleep, affecting how we engage with the world which should be our waking hours. Why? When the dream is more real than your reality you want to stay there for as long as possible and when you lose sleep you go into the world, tired, unable to think straight and with a lacklustre attitude your best friend. So imagine the very thing that seems to keep you going causing more trouble, more disruptions in your world.
Yesterdays
each day I lose my yesterdays -
each day I rejoice.
For what are they
but chains that drag?
Backward
going nowhere.
I've seen things -
harsh things.
Heard venomous silences
beaten by suspicion
castrated by indifference.
Each day I forget my yesterday -
sweet blessed release;
so,
I can embrace today...
Hell
Grey
cold -
deathly cold,
hell,
ghostly figures
strung across time
no smiling face
to tempt the warmth
only dead eyes
silent
gone.
In forbidden dreams I
battling
crisp crystal clear
delight
uncorrupted green
true
life abound.
But
only this
nothingness
of despair
cold comfort against the rain
against the pain of lost
youthful exuberance.
Change
“The only constant is change”.
Is this true? I think it is. What about you? So change lives with you, makes you stretch, reach, and see beyond your door. So, open the door and step through.
Octavia Butler once wrote, “All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is change.” Do you really change where you go? Maybe so. After all, if you walk the same path all your life the green parts will give way to the dirt below. So even not changing brings change. To ride off into the sunset is impossible because the sun sets. The, sun, sets. Just before it disapears beyond the horizon and while you are jetting off into it, it leaves you for some time, then comes back up the next day, providing light. During the time it is gone, you have the ride the uncertainty of the moonlight, which is not bright enough. Does it mean when you ride off into the sunset you are persona non grata? Who knows. You still have to keep riding, even in the dark because the world will not stand still.
But Change is good so let us embrace it. Throw off all the misundertood and misunderstanding and just go forth. So as today melts into tomorrow, change greets us with hello.
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