Author: Simone

Loves to tell and hear untold stories about people, places and experiences!

Well If I Can Do This Thing…

When you wait too long to make a move you lose all credibility. Now think about this as I find myself in the predicament of deciding whether or not inactivity is a sign that I may be a fraud or not. There are always people who have a problem with injustices of one kind or another taking place, either around them or to someone, known or unknown to them. There are always persons who belief they can do so much more and have so much more to offer, yet all they do is talk and dream. Persons complain about things they do not like but then are stuck and do nothing about it. One has to wonder if they really want to see things change or if they just want to have something to complain about.

Maybe, it is that we want to see a change but we feel powerless, so we dream, plot and plan, to no avail. How hard is it to do something instead of thinking about it? Well, in thinking much effort is not required and so potential dangers can be avoided, while, in doing there are any number of pitfalls lurking around every conceivable corner you can imagine. However, there is no satisfaction or reward in thinking forever when action is the only way that change will take place.

It is quite frustrating when nothing you want to see happen materialises. However maybe we need to ask ourselves how do we facilitate this outcome? Turning your back and hoping for the best is not going to stop a runaway train and neither is just being in the audience going to make the movie that much more enjoyable. If you want a good production for your own life, you have to ensure that you are one of, if not the producer that has the vision and is willing to work day and night to have something worth looking at.

What if instead of beginning with doubt and fear we thought, ‘”well if I can do this thing, even once, I can do a little more”. Each of us has to decide what that thing is that will enable us to move from righteous indignation, anger, game changing ideas, dreaming of change to solution, and realisation of a dream or those innovative ideas bubbling under the surface. We have to believe that we have the power of The Almighty to make things happen, while having the faith to know they will.

Time is a Finite Resource…

I started this year taking everything for granted. Not realising how precarious life truly is. When I looked out at the year I felt I was to begin a journey I could clearly map out. All I had to do if I wanted to reach my predetermined destination, was to have a plan and be disciplined about it. However, as we all know by now, some of the best laid plans can get completely wiped out.

Feeling that this was the time to set certain things into motion, I was ready to take a leap of faith. Then my body reminded me that somethings were beyond my control. You can eat all the vegetables in sight and do all the exercises we can find, but our health can still fail us. Things can grow and flourish in both your mind and body that can bring harm to you. You can even be as close to perfect as any man can come and still fail miserably. The truth i,s nothing is guaranteed except your time is running out. While many of us feel young enough to scuff at this or avoid thinking about it, it still happens.

However, time is still a resource. I have learned not to focus on what I want to do tomorrow and where I want to be. I have learned to appreciate the time right now and love what I can see. There is no magic potion that you can conjure in your head, that will get you all you require from the future to make the present the best.

You want to move on but you are waiting for the right time that never comes, because there never will be a perfect time. I am sure that there are many persons who waited until this year to start making moves, but had to abort because of the roadblocks ahead. “Time is precious”, is what we often hear, but we do not know how precious until the sand in the glass is right in counting down too fast for your liking.

Maybe it is that time in general is infinite but for each of us it is not. By the fact that you have ancestors and history, we know that one day we will comfortably reside in both. Even when we are asked to stand still, time does not wait for us. Instead, it waves at us and all we can do is pray that we will be allowed to move again, before time gets too far ahead of our intentions.

So, while time moves merrily along, oblivious to our doubts and setbacks, we are left to wrestle with its consequences. We have to come to terms with the knowledge that the time we have to work with, may not be up to us. It means that we have to decide what we will do to ensure we have exponential returns on the time we are afforded.

Not That Kind of Rich.

I am sure that some of us at least at some point in our lifetime have had this dream to make it big, to be a success and get rich. We may have dreamed of the day when wealth acquired would get us anywhere and everywhere we wanted to be. We could see it then, all the freedom wealth would afford us, all that was before us. “The sky is the limit”, “nothing can stop us now”, we though once we had a chance all we had to do was work hard! So we did, we worked hard day and night, but the change was slow in coming. But, we did not give up because, well, because after all the formula was to never stop, “grinding”, the saying was, “heights of great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept were toiling upwards through the night”. And you really thought you could make it.

So, you toil and toil and toil and toil. Then only to realise that nothing happened. Instead of owning your own jet, to soar you are squashed and bogged down among others who aimed but missed their mark.

You slowly but surely realise that you have not been working to make your dream come through, but someone else’s. You have not been working to make yourself rich but someone else. All that time you spent “grinding”, all your efforts toiling, have only served to remind you that the barrel you try to come out of has no end and no beginning, it just is. So, you hear of a new scheme, the scheme goes if you spend more, you will attract more money to you, and only end up broke. You see, the scheme had no safeguards against limited income, against the pre-existing condition of your poverty. you search out so many schemes, but none of them last because their first and only aim was to extract and store in their own reserve of wealth.

Everyone cannot be rich but you are raised to believe this. So you start many ventures that lead nowhere and projects that never take off the ground. You spend so much time chasing wealth while it seems to run from you. The difference lies in the fact that you cannot see this truth, your vision is clouded by all the scales of lies you refuse to remove.

I have wondered why it seems that at the top there is only a few who benefit from the efforts of many, why only a few make decision that everyone else follows. You will never be rich because it has always been that way and because many do not see this. You could be the most financially responsible person ever, but you will still have those limited dollars swirling in your pocket, eventually reduced to coins and then air, until the next paycheck. After all you have responsibilities.

If we stopped following the “blueprint” for being rich, what are we left with? If we stopped chasing that next dollar, what would we have to chase, to “grind” for and toil for?

Can you be happy knowing that you will never be rich, knowing that any concept of material wealth you acquire will be limite? With knowing that it will never be enough to get you to the first branch of the tree, much less the sky you aim for?

If you think that chasing wealth will ensure you get it, then consider, how many actually do. It is tough to get into that 1% exclusive club, the ones who make things happen but never do those things – well not anymore. It would be easier for you to be rich in other ways than material wealth. Many really do not know what it takes to be rich, and maybe you would not like it. To be rich you may have to be okay with the fact that many around you will suffer to keep you at the top. When how high you go depends on how many people you stand on, without regret.

You decide, what kind of riches you want to have.

Understanding Bible Verses – Philippians 4:19- God Will Supply All ...

Think of Yourself Less

Woe is me, is a popular sentiment right now. Many people are either angry, frightened or upset that their world has been turned upside down and they don’t know what to do with themselves.

We are asked to do something that makes us anxious and all we can think about is whether or not we will look stupid, make a mistake or end up not getting the credit we think we deserve. We spend so much time worrying about what will happen to the impression of ourselves so far that we forget that there are people also involved who may have limitations and inabilities, but who are willing to jump in the fray to get things done. They too may have doubts, may feel insecure but unlike the woe me criers, they are not willing to give life to their fears.

Then there are those among us who feel we have gotten the short end of the stick. We get offended by the most imaginary of slights that we feel doubly offended when our case is thrown out, due to a lack of real evidence. What makes it worse is that the time we spend trying to find the offense in someone’s words and actions, could have been used to do something meaningful; something that would not only bring you more joy but also others around you. We are angry or we need pity and woe unto anyone who gets in our path.

Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of the fact that everything is not about us and doesn’t just happen to us. If we focus less on our problems, shortcomings and fears, we would have less reason to feel sorry for ourselves and our situations. We would also come to recognise that change and hard times are all a part of the life and if we want to be here we need to be willing to take the good with the bad. Sometimes a season lasts longer than you would have expected, but when it happens, look around to realise that you are not the only one experiencing such a season. The brilliance you see in yourself is mirrored in everyone else, so too are faults that you see in others. Look closely and you will see that you have less, the same or even more faults than you knew or are willing to acknowledge. A storm does not happen only to make your life miserable and fortune does not only smile on a few. It depends on how we view things and on whether or not we can see beyond our needs. Can we look in the mirror and realise that ours is not the only eyes looking back at us, but the eyes of all who have in some way played a part in where we are, whether or not we have ever met them face to face.

Writer’s Block

In life there are times when writer’s block strikes. So you have decided to turn a new page which will be a new chapter. It is a lot like how many saw 2020, a new chapter. After all 2019 had signalled the end of a decade and a new one was about to begin. There were many #vision, #travel, #goals, #2020 goals. Based on those, it was clear that for some 2020 would be the best year ever!

Then life threw a really massive curveball and cut the wind out of many person’s sail.

No longer was the focus on starting that thing that would lead to much needed change, taking risks and achieving that one goal that had eluded you so far. The focus for many, who never had to worry about it before, was just making it through 2020 alive.

The chapter we were about to write was now under threat and under the severe pressure of the stress that this pandemic has brought, you have developed writer’s block. Those who had a vague plan to begin with. whose creative juices came in unexpected spurts, this has meant as of now in May the page is still blank. Now instead of thinking about what you want to write in your book, you are look back at 2019 and have decided that after all it wasn’t so bad. You star at the blank page and think of how impossibly hard it will to write and you begin to sweat profusely when you attempt to put pen to paper. No longer are your creative juices flowing, instead the lava of fear that eats away at any resolve you had to do a 180 in your life and live your best life ever!

Stuck between a rock and a hard place many become mentally paralysed that instead of looking ahead they keep looking behind, for the past to save them and keep them warm when the cold daggers of reality threaten to spill blood. Writing that chapter becomes an insurmountable task as instead of wondering how to begin you question the practicality of continuing. You stand in the middle of the darkness and attempt to write on a page smothered in tears of despair. Will the book be compromised, will your story ever reach a high point or is it destined to remain in stagnation, started but never completed.

You will never move on, never complete that chapter because all of your sorrows and doubts are trapped in your head and leaves no space for you to extract colour from the grey matter. The focus on what has not worked will lead to a decline in conviction to try something else, to see this change like any other change; it is something that will allow you to stress the limits of your own understanding of yourself to find that masterpiece that only you can produce. Your paralysis can only be accommodated if you allow yourself to remain numb to the possibility of reworking what the beginning of this new chapter should look like. It ends when we can accept that remaining in the throes of your writer’s block can lead to missed opportunities for growth and exponential growth. It is not that you have the condition but that you have decided to remain in the safety of the known and not progress to the unknown. It may be scary but the possible reward of encountering unimagined side roads and lanes of new discovery, is worth the risk. Forget the fear and just write your way into a new season

No.

“NO is a complete sentence” – Breeny Lee 2020

When I heard these words above they resonated with me. When I heard that people pleasers can’t say no, I felt attacked. I realise now that I have been a people pleaser all my life, but it did not start that way.

When I was younger I was confident about what I wanted to do and how I felt about myself. No matter what anyone said about me or to me, it did not touch me. When I was leaving fifth form (grade 11) I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and I was about to start. Then I caved to the pressure of my grandfather’s expectation and ended up doing nothing I wanted to do.

Being a people pleaser is really a drag and can lead to major anxiety and depression. I realise that there are people who ‘love’ me because they can depend on me to do what they want or expect me to do, but they don’t really know me. They don’t know me because they did not want to get to know me, because it did not matter. Those who do appreciate that I’m not just a ‘nice person’, that there are dimensions to me that make me perfectly imperfect. It is a lot of pressure when people expect you to do and say the right things all the time and when they have known you for some time and cannot appreciate the need for you, to make many mistakes and passionately oppose what they believe to be true. A lot of persons claim to like variety but they only like it in specific persons and put them in the variety box, while you are stuck in the one dimensional ‘nice person’ box they crafted for you. Tragedy strikes when you cannot keep up appearances and break code and show a side of yourself that does not match the box they put you in.

You bite your tongue until you draw blood rather than offend someone or, you stop talking. you find yourself playing a washed up role and get little credit for your efforts. I remember when my grandmother asked me once, when I was much younger if yes is the only answer I can give and I cheekily said”no!” However, I think back on that and looked at how much my life has mirrored that perpetually volly of yeses. It is true that by trying to please others you lose sight of your own path and end walking through worlds of wilderness that you are not prepared to walk though. In such wilderness you have very little strength on which to draw upon, because you are just a ghostly impression of yourself. You turn away and look back again and it has been six years in that wilderness and you wonder where the time went. You have fragmented memories of things that took place in that time and they don’t make one. good. day.

saying yes all the time can work your nerves until they are frayed because all the nos you could have said attack you in the darkest hour of the night. It can cause you to wonder about your purpose, because you are forever the cheerleader and not the star in your own show. There are all these talents and potential that you bury under the weight of other people’s expectations and you wait. You wait for a miracle that will save you from your timidity and resentment of being held back to help everyone that needs helping.

Well…..

You don’t have to. It is as simple as that. Just as it is simple to say no. It is a two letter word but many people pleasers like myself have a hard time with it. We get so embarrassed because we cannot meet everybody’s expectations, and I mean everybody that we know and want to please. The curse of being nice is that you are never your true self but a character woven; started by someone and elaborated on by you. Yes at the end of the day the biggest contributor to your position is your own misguided acceptance of the role. So, it becomes natural to see yourself as a fraud (whether intentionally or not) and eventually others begin to see the cracks. But because they do not know the hows and whys, they construct a new identity for you, something that does not match who you were are and can be. One that stunts your growth and leaves you going in circles.

So, being a people pleaser stops now. Do not be fake if something bothers you, and be honest with people. Be honest in your actions and by your words about what you stand for and against. Also, no matter how old you get, it is never too late to learn that the most important step in curing this curse, is by learning to say no and meaning it.

Greatest Source

Everyone has their own basket to carry, their own story to tell…

On this blog you will finds posts about success and happiness. Many of us have and will read all there is to read on what makes someone a success. We want to succeed. We want to succeed because society tells us we have to and we then take the baton to carry out society’s will. Overtime, because we are busy looking for success, we forget what we need to be a success, we do not realise that the success we seek was never ours to receive. All along it was based on someone else’s dreams and someone else’s desire.

Many may spend all their lives trying to be a success and they never achieve it. Many may struggle at work, getting mediocre results, competing for a prize that is guaranteed to epitomize their success, but they never achieve it. They never achieve that prize, not because they are unworthy or lack talent but because their intentions were all wrong and the prize was never your to obtain.

We may have been conditioned to view success by how well others around us are doing. The person who has all the boxes ticked and has done everything by twenty, is the standard that the majority of us will not reach, but we still try to get there and then operate in uncertain defeat because we did not get there in time. However, there are a few among us who realise the trap of society’s success. Those who do not view success by how well they can operate within the box they have allowed themselves to remain in, but by understanding where their true success lie.

Success comes from God yet many of us do not seek that kind of success. We do not seek success outside of peer recognition and material wealth but instead, decide that if and when we achieve those things, God confirms our success. And yet, if we do get those things does it make us happy? If everything we do is motivated by a need for a reward, when we accumulate things unto ourselves are we winning?

True success comes from God…

True success comes from God. If we had to give up everything in this world that we see as important, would we still be content. If today no one sees us in a positive light because we turn out not to be what they expected, do we then become a failure?

Our worth should never be tied to what someone thinks of us but often times we allow ourselves to be commodified and in turn commodify others. For too many among us, how well we can sell ourselves will determine whether or not we achieve illustrious success. Again this is what we think. The reality is that for many commodification, conformity and self-gratification never yield the kinds of success they envision. They end up either heart broken or hardened by this reality. They are ever recognised, never given the credit that they think they deserve and never placed in the limelight for everyone to admire.

We need to do some reflection on what we truly want. Do we want to chase a success that we will never achieve or will have little pleasure in finally gaining. Or, are we faithfully enough to recognise that success comes from God and once we have placed the Almighty before us we will always be successful.

If we stop comparing ourselves to others, stop cross referencing timelines, if we stopped stretching ourselves into someone else’s lane, we will not be disqualified and fail to finish the race. Maybe it is that in order to find our individual and unique success, we need to draw away from our own understanding and the understanding of others and draw closer to the word and direction given to us by The Almighty.

In a season of uncertainty, chaos and loss, the only free and constant thing we have is the love of God. This constant source will help us to peel away the layers of ourselves, so that we can face who we are and not who we wish we were. It is also a source that will help us to embrace our limitations and flaws as we strife for a success not defined by man but that comes from The Great I Am.

Shallow Focus Photo of Glass Ball Near Body of Water