Nothing More Powerful

Nothing more powerful or worthy
nothing more in need of praise,

there is nothing else that can lift you high
way above the sky
nothing.

arise, shine, for your light has come
a light that can never be extinguished
it does not burn
it blazes
flashing liking lightening
a rumble that shakes the foundations of the earth.

You shall see and be radiant
You will see the truth beyond those hidden walls.
no longer will will you be blinded
by fear and insecurities.
It is a new day!

Your heart shall thrill!
Know sorry no more
You have conquered the unconquerable.
You have power.
That little pinky can slay all your giants.
at your core is power
an inheritance,
never bought
cannot be stolen.
Power.

Who are those who fly above the clouds?
You have been raised 
you have been raised.
That power will carry you 
forever,
and the light shall be everlasting;
Shiloh.

The Feast after the Fast

The Feast after the Fast

I crawled out of the belly of a whale
still in tact.
The green eyed monster 
tried to consume me,
but in this basin
I was lifted to safety.
Though my ribs are exposed
to the elements
The rain comes and washes
away the crispy foam left by my decay - 
fresh meat.
I first must die to be reborn
anew
afresh
restored.
In order to be filled
I must be empty.
To find true happiness
I must embrace mind numbing grief.
These supple limbs had to be broken in many places,
there was no other way.
To reach my destination
I had to take a leap off the cliff -
don't look down.
I had to lose it all
to gain.

Then when all is said and done
I still have to follow and not lead.

I Didn’t Need Eggs!

I recently completed something I have wanted to do for a long time, I did a Daniel fast and I was reflecting on what I had learned having done it.

One of the reasons that I did this was to get some answers to things that have been weighing heavily on my mind. So I embarked on this fast – ill-prepared I realised later – to seek God and His wisdom in order to have these things addressed. However, the first couple of days was a bit – how shall I put this mildly – hard beyond my wildest imagining. When I started I did not do so blindly, I did some research, bought some food stuff I read was specific to the fast. Good, check everything going well so far. Then I started reading more and realised that for everyone what you could eat during this period was different. So I thought I could fry food, then I realised I could not, I had peanut butter, then I learned no honey and honey was in the peanut butter, then I read no tea, not even herbal tea, so water only. Then when I was getting ready to cook, I read I could not use certain seasonings and I ended up using salt and pepper, and so it went. Therefore I realised that though you can eat on this fast, you had to be very careful that what you ate was acceptable, this was really an experience of limits and being disciplined.

So how did the eggs come in? Well on the Daniel fast you cannot eat eggs and you guessed it, I love egg! As a matter of fact I was shocked and apprehensive because I could not have eggs and I felt that I wouldn’t make it to the end of this fast because of this. I saw myself being weak and listless, having brain fog, not being able to exercise, nothing without my eggs. However, I decided to have this experience because I really wanted to start a new journey in my relationship with God. It was okay to cut down on social media and limiting interactions and reading the bible, but not enjoying the foods I use to enjoy was a struggle at first. I realised that food was a crutch: when I felt sad, bored, happy, angry, anxious you name it there were certain foods I would eat to match those feelings. However, on this fast I could not, I had to pray more and meditate more and really acknowledge how not just food, but others things in life, had become a crutch for me, unhealthy crutches. And having completed the fast, I know that like those eggs, there are things in life that I have been holding on to with a death grip that I really need to let go. I do not need them.

Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

During the fast I had never felt better, even though I did not have eggs to fuel me, to fill me and keep me going I felt BETTER. I did not feel worse or just as good, I felt better. I had more energy, no pain and I ate better. I did not miss my dear eggs in the least and now I really couldn’t care less about having them. More than just the eggs I realise that I have been making excuses in my attempt to hold on to things that really I would be better off letting go of. We all have things we need to let go of but just cannot or refuse to see it, because we have talked ourselves into believing that we need them. These things can be preventing us from experiencing something better. I now understand a little bit more that these crutches do not support but limit, making us fearful to try new things to be brave enough to leave them behind, while not knowing where we will end up. When we do this not only do we miss out on great life changing experiences but we also stunt our growth. Imagine that the thing I thought I would need the most became the thing I missed the least during this journey.

Sometimes we just need to let go and let God.

Just Fun?

Just Fun?

We didn't realise 
we were making memories
we just knew
we were having fun... 

At least that is all we saw
we never knew things would end.
We been through the storms
rode the rainbow
we thought to have it all.

And we did for a time.
We were blinded 
by the star
that shone in the middle of the day.

All we knew then - 
we were gonna make it,
we were gonna do it all,
nothing would stop us.

So we went all out
grabbed some fairy dust 
this kept us on
able to dream a little long.

Now the dust has settled
become plain clay. 
We must face reality.
And at the last 
when our time is done -
didn't we have so much fun?

I Will Bring You Back

I Will Bring You Back
                                    SG

For I will bring you back...

Back from the edge of doom,
back from your own folly,
I will give you what you need to restore all that you have lost,
I will bring you back.

When everything has been stripped from you
fret not your sorrow will not last.
When the end is over and you have accepted your lot
I will bring you back.

After it has all been written - 
what was first spoken.
Then I will cast my eyes on you
and speak a new story for you
that will be written about you.
I will bring you back.

You will not have to cry for the lost
nor mourn for what is no more.
You will carry your shield of faith,
when it is restored.
I will return your armour
new again,
fit for the new battle to come.
I will be the light you need
to go on your way.
I will make your path clear
enough to make your way sure.
I will breathe new life in you.

For I will bring you back!

The Tragic Hero

Life is not a competition.

I am sure you have heard this before, but have you really thought about what this truly means?

You don’t have to be the best. Right now. There is no time limit on all that you have to do. While everyone is striving, you feel as if you are not. There you are feeling as if you are being left behind. All your friends have graduated and moved on to the next phase, but you my friend, are left behind. You may feel like you are one of the leftovers. The one who becomes the example of where not to be and what not to do. It is easy to feel left behind, because so many seem to follow the hustler formula. They want success and they want it quick. They have to always be on the move, always grabbing the next opportunity, the next big thing. To be a hustler has become something to be admired by many and oftentimes we are bombarded with YouTube videos and a plethora of articles that tout the benefits of the hustler mentality.

However, While we strive to get to the top as quickly as possible, we never really take the time to understand our purpose because we have become doers and not thinkers. We become burnt out trying to do a million things in twenty-four hours. I think of it as me preparing a lesson to teach, with so many activities crammed in it that the students do not have time to benefit or enjoy those activities. We become so focused on getting to the top and staying there that we deprive ourselves of the experience of enjoying the moments that matter, those moments that will remain with us when all those positions and wealth mean nothing.

A lot of us lose the things we have because we focus too much on what we do not have. The hustle culture that has emerged and which a lot of persons try to cultivate comes from a place of insecurity for many. A place where they always compare themselves to others and strive for things that they were never meant to hide. So you may know someone who has been on the hustler grind for a very long time and is still waiting their turn to get to the top. There you are, looking in from the outside, you realise that all they do is go in circles but never truly grow and are never close to the summit they crave to conquer.

I recently looked at the story of Saul and David, both were Kings of Israel and the lesson of the story is timeless. There are so many lessons actually but for me in considering the story what stood out, was how foolish Saul was to allow his envy and jealousy of David to destroy his life. It began with a celebration that quickly turned sour and it was a turning point that destroyed Saul’s legacy:

-: Saul Envies David
6
As the troops were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs, and with tambourines and other instruments. 7 And as the women danced, they sang out: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.” (1 Samuel 18: 6-7)

Saul was at the top of his game, the big man, he was King! Until, a young boy with humble beginnings, like him, came into his line of vision stole some of his shine and he was no longer happy with all his previous achievements and the privilege of being King. He was a King but he was not satisfied. He needed records, numbers greater than anyone to prove he was great.

Why do people hustle? Why is it so important to be the greatest, to have persons bow at your feet because out of everyone else, you made it. But made it where? How much higher can you go than being a King? Even at the top, Saul was discontent, disillusioned and at the end, fiercely bitter. He felt that David’s growing popularity and success was a direct reflection on him. Like Saul too many of us get too caught up in the lives of others and what they are doing, achieving or “winning” at. We feel if they succeed it may show us up. Then all of a sudden everyone begins to question, “what about you, what have you done lately?” Sometimes before someone asks the questions of our legitimacy, we begin to destroy it, by comparing ourselves to others and then come up short, woefully inadequate, headed for failure. Though this was not the case a few minutes before.

Saul’s strength and courage was buried under a need for approval and the fear of being criticized. This is seen when he tries to regain favour in the eyes of his army and people by making a sacrifice that was never his to make. This need to always be favourable in the eyes of others, to always be number one, even if it means making compromises, can be seen by many who strive to succeed at any cost.

11 And Samuel said, “What have you done?”

Saul said, “When I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered together at Michmash, 12 then I said, ‘The Philistines will now come down on me at Gilgal, and I have not made supplication to the Lord.’ Therefore I felt compelled, and offered a burnt offering.” (1 Samuel 13: 11-12 )

Saul was so focused on being better, when he was already good, in being highly favoured, when he already was; he last it all because he neglected to notice all the great things he had going for him. It was a real tragedy that such a great man allowed his insecurities and fear of rejection to completely Stifle the potential of who he could have been.

So, the story of Saul becomes a cautionary tale, of how competition can go bad and lead a person to self-destruct. Take note even as you aim to be the best you that you can be.

What Do We Have to Lose?

As many of us get older, loss becomes a thing we dread. People we have known all our lives, old and young begin to die and we begin to wonder, who next, what else will we lose next? We experience the joy of gaining material possessions only to lose them when we least expect to. Then there are the friendships and those other relationships that we lose along the way. All these losses are like mini-volcanic eruptions that threaten to consume us with their lavas, their molten touches, deadly.

We almost always think of loss as something bad, something to avoid, however, no matter how much we would wish to, we can never escape its experience.

Many persons hold on too tightly and for far too long to things that do not work anymore or things we should have given up a long time ago, and miss out on what is beyond those losses. We fear losing an income so we stay in a job that we were never meant to be in or have nothing more to offer. We hold on to relationships that are toxic because we do not want to be alone, we don’t want to be the odd one out.

Do not let your vision be filled with the ashes of what you loss.

However, loss has many great possibilities. When someone you love dies and you feel you cannot survive it, you do. You survive and you realise that you were built strong; you were built to endure so much loss and be stronger than you were before. When you lose that thing that was more than life itself and you feel as if you have nothing, you realise that life is the most important possession you have. Life is the most important, because if you have it there is nothing that you cannot have once again that will be equal to, or greater than what you thought was so important. From that experience you come to understand that there is more to life than the things you hope to gain, whether it be possessions or recognition.

When you lose the ability to go where you want to, when you want to, you begin to appreciate the simple miracle of waking another day to experience what a particular time in your life allows you to experience. We begin to appreciate what we have and also what we do not have and realise that it doesn’t take much, just a positive outlook to transform a broken situation into a blessing. Losing the ability to truly experience freedom,means that you value it more and are willing to not only secure your own but anyone else’s that may be threatened.

When you lose the ability to have what you want because you can no longer afford it, you begin to appreciate what you do have. When you realise that you have lost some of your loved ones along the way, you begin to appreciate more, those who are left. When your health begins to fail, you begin to take better care of yourself and you truly begin to honour this temple God has given you. When you lose all your friends because of your unshakable stubbornness, you begin to seek the truth of what true humility is and get rid of an ego that had left no room for anyone else in your life.

When a bloom dies, if you stick around long enough, another will eventually take its place…

There are so many things that we needed to lose this year and we did not even know. We needed to lose our pride, fear, doubt , self-sabotaging ways, excuses as to why things have not worked so far, our procrastinating ways. Yes, we also needed to lose someone people, because that is just the nature of relationships, not all of them were meant to last. Some people were sent into our lives to teach us and then leave us. However, in losing them it does not mean that we should forget what they left us with, the knowledge and growth we experienced and we should be grateful. Grateful that they came and grateful that they left when they did because it was the right time, it was after all only for a time. This also include things that we acquire over time. In losing things there is not only room for something else but something better that is even more suited to where we are in our lives.

Losing things fill us with so much grief, and sometimes we spend so much time griefing for the thing or person we have lost that we never recover. We never fully accept the gift of losing. We never move beyond a broken place, to be able to recognise that those losses can manifest precious gems, gems that can never be bought, stolen or sold.