Tag: seeing things clearly

Freedom from maladaptive daydreaming

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that

Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase

Martin Luther King Jr.

Maladaptive daydreaming is straying from God. The more we get caught up in our imagined make-believe world the less time we have to know God. I know I have been willing to spend hours creating a world of mine to the exclusion of God. The door was not opened in this world, and even if there was a knock, I was too distracted to hear and answer. I was the architect in my world and determined how far I could go. At that point, it felt like freedom, but the truth is I was trapped in my head.

The trick is to focus on God, the things of God, the people of God and less on the self. Focus less on what makes you anxious and what drives your fear, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 6-7, NKJV). Don’t daydream your life away, give everything to God, get out and live, not in your head but in the real world. There is nothing worse than deciding you and not God knows what’s best for you. That’s not true: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Once you break free you realise that daydreaming solves nothing and is just another prison. The word of God is clear: “For freedom, Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). There is no easy cure, however, the best remedy is spending time with God and the word of God. This for me is a work in progress, cause I am still and forever will be under construction. So, instead of seeking after the high of a make-believe world, one should, “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” Matthew 6:33-34).

Think about this, maladaptive daydreaming can lead you to become paranoid. You think things that are not true, everyone is your enemy and everything is against you. This is a nightmare, not a dream. The only way to overcome this is to focus on the word of God because as it says in Philippians 4: 8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” What is true does not necessarily come from our imagination. Instead, we should do as instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5: We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

Your traumas do not define you unless you let them. You cannot drive out darkness by allowing darkness to drive or motivate you. Being a maladaptive daydreamer gives you a foggy memory – sounds familiar – you waste so much time and so you cannot get to your purpose and do the work God has called you to do and so it seems that you are moving cyclically instead on the straight path of progress, you may feel confused, have suicidal or lustful thoughts that really do not align with God or your purpose, you hate your reality and so to escape you start having suicidal thoughts. Does this have anything to do with God? If God is worthy how can we spend so much time on everything else except Him? Madness that we see as normal. Do not be lost in your thoughts as it may entangle you and trap you there for the rest of your life.

Nothing in life is easy and it seems there are a million things to trip you up. However, we have a God who is more than able to allow us to overcome them all. So, we need to trust him more and our imaginations less. Well, that’s all for now.

The devil is a Liar

The devil told a lie yesterday
and I quickly had to check him.
In the middle of my despair 
he made his way
whispered quite cunningly
he said,
"you are not a child of God" 
wait, what now!
he really said that!
it didn't hurt
I had the breastplate 
of righteousness
I had to pause look back
make sure I was girded with truth
then rebuke him
I came down hard 
with the shield of faith
I'm God's creation!
A chosen generation!
not an abomination
like you
crafty serpent.
Feet firmly on the Gospel
I reached for the light
flipped him with the sword
of the Spirit
to beat him back then
and he withdrew
when he saw the helmet
of salvation,
defeated in his attempt.
but I know
some day soon - 
maybe tomorrow,
he'd try again.

The Most Important Thing in the World

...a random thought
leaves grooves,
a river bed
flooded with despair -
"what is the most important thing in the world?"
is it money?
that ungrateful bastard
flees as soon as you hold it.
Is it honour,
accolades?
Not even.
one mistake
into the dumpster.
Could it be - 
not that -
could it be being remebered?
for a while perhaps
then the sandstorm comes and covers 
the memories of you.
Then what?
Out of darkness a voice 
thunders:
"It is love so real
it asks nothing in return,
no you will not burn.
It is love so honest
it keeps every promise,
It is love so precious  
each drop must be savoured, 
Yes believe,
Pure life giving love...

Hell

Grey
cold -
deathly cold,
hell,
ghostly figures
strung across time
no smiling face
to tempt the warmth
only dead eyes
silent
gone.
In forbidden dreams I
battling
crisp crystal clear
delight
uncorrupted green
true
life abound.
But
only this 
nothingness
of despair
cold comfort against the rain
against the pain of lost
youthful exuberance.

Follow the Light

Harsh and bright
the light
shines on us
ever before us
we see the dangers
real and sure
we stumble
buck we toe
catch ourselves
walk again.
the light
it bright
shows all the shadows
inside of us.
the light
has power
will us forward
removing us
from our story
of ourselves
so it can shine
in all those dark spaces
find what we seek
find what we need.

Let Me Vent!

Forget the label
see me,
see me!
See my tears
See my fears
know I have layers
Don't judge me
for being weak
let me vent;
relent!
Understand
I am allowed to be weak.
The truth is never sweet
it's sticky 
it's bitter
but it washes away
many lies
many disasters
many tragedies 
hiding behind a smile.
Can you give me grace?
can you let me go
at a kinder pace?

You are Right Where You are Meant to Be

It is tiring, right? Always striving, reaching for the next thing, that one thing you are meant to do. To become the one you are meant to be.

It is hard. When you are tired. When you are not sure what to do. What to do next? Sometimes, we get so focused on the next thing that we miss out on the now. On the rich things happening now, the lessons being taught now. We miss the gems we are to collect now and we move to the next, with an empty basket. We are too quick to move, too limited to appreciate what we have before us before it becomes ‘had’. Pace, pace yourself and slow down. What is meant for your good will be given to you. There is no need for us to be chasing the next thing, presented to us as the ‘best thing’. I need to stop and look carefully at what is around me. What I can take care of now, what I can do now and do that. There is no need to reach beyond what is in front of me. First I have to address the present in order to successfully greet the future.

Forget perfection, it is not achievable. What can happen is that we devalue our efforts, the efforts of others and God’s awesome efforts on our behalf, because we are waiting for perfection. There is no perfect life. Yes, it is hard to admit and even harder to live this imperfect life but it is the truth. A truth I do not like is that death is sure. What we need to do before we get there is to embrace life with all its imperfections and just give ourselves the grace to live it.

So, we push through and beyond the stones we encounter in the now, before we move on. We do not need to turn back and seek another path. Really we can never go back, so why try? We push through and we take note of our strengths and weaknesses. We learn about our idiosyncracies and we push to thrive, no matter the harsh conditions. We do not stop. We may pause, cry out our fears, and wonder what we are doing here, but we never stop. We may slow down because it’s what we have to do. We may even pause for a good long while because the lesson module is so large, but we will eventually move again when the time is right. The only constant is change. therefore, we can see little changes in the little things taking place around us now. Sometimes even those little things become big things. But, we never stop, we are never stuck, and we are getting to where we are getting in a time that matches our ability at that time.

So, while it may be tempting for us to abort the boat in the middle of a storm and hop on a passing ship that seems destined for greater things, let us pause and think. How did we get here? Where were we told to go? Is that ship headed for our promised land or an iceberg? Sometimes we are meant to be in the boat, going at a steady pace, being led, because what is ahead for us is still in preparation mode and God needs time to set it up right for us. Just remember in the now you are in, you are where you are meant to be.