Filling Life With What is Important.

To make life simpler, how about we keep only the important things. I know I have often found myself with lots of stuff that I really do not need and so treat poorly. Yes, at times we want to be accessible to everyone and we may feel that if we don’t get something now, someone else will snatch them up. Well, let them if you don’t really need them.

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Some Important Stuff…

There are persons who you need in your life. Keep those who think and speak positive, not just about you but about others as well. Persons who always see the bright side, so, their optimism can rub off or shame you out of your existential dread. Those who will not accept being negative in any way and not support it.

Do what makes you happy, being mindful of how it will impact others. Ensure that there are things you do because you want to do them and not because you feel you have to. If you wake up one day and want to relax, relax. If you feel like doing something that no one else wants to do, do it by yourself. Also, and one that can be hard to do, if you want to go somewhere but no one else wants to go with you, become a solo traveler.

Develop on what you have. Do you remember the parable of the talents? Make sure you develop on what you have been gifted by God. Use it to make the space you occupy that much better. By focusing on all the things you can do and do well, you won’t have time to compare yourself to others.

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Know that everything you achieve, in spite of your mistakes are because you are good enough. It’s easy in the age of stiff competition to lose sight of your true worth and so, it is important to remind yourself of your worthiness. We may be disappointed from time to time with the things we do but they should not be our beating stick forever. Just do the best you can.

Do what makes you happy, no matter what anyone may say or think. Happiness is vital for instilling a sense of well-being and meaning in life. Being happy can affect your mental health, your physical and spiritual sense of well-being. Therefore we should protect it at all cost. Even if it means staying away from things and people that compromise it. Consider that discontent and unhappiness can lead to conflicts and even war! So find a way to make what gives you happiness a part of your daily life.

We don’t need everything, we just need the things that matter.

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Patience of Job

Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength.

Bruce Lee

Growing my grandmother needed a lot of this. From running away, to my habitual stealing, many lies and other mischief, I was a real thorn in her side. I guess she was hoping to whip me into a semblance of a somewhat decent human being, and she did.

But it can be hard to be patient and do the mundane things when you know that great things are in the making for you. It can be especially hard when it looks like things got worse a whole lot quicker. However, we need to remain unshakable in the face of great adversaries, especially when they stem from our own self-destructive tendencies.

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I love the story of Job because of how faithful he remained and how convinced he was that all things work together for good to them that love God. So, when things seem really desperate, I am comforted by the story of Job. Therefore, while it seems we are working for a good that is long in coming, we should remain patient and be positive.

For 2020, we have to be especially persistence in the face of blockages in our way and use it as a part of our daily mantra. When things do not work the way you want them to work out, be glad, because something better is in the making.

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Also, we need to develop a new concept of what it means to be patient. One where we do not submit to everything thrown at us, until such time. But we need to be stubbornly optimistic no matter what anyone says, or, how bad things appear. When we trust in a higher source, one beyond human understanding, and are confident in knowledge that we too are worthy of all goods things floating around us, all things are possible.

Let us rise above all the forces of darkness that can be find every where. Let us stay above all negative thoughts, emotions and reactions that are waiting to bubble up to the surface.

We may need to take the most terrifying leap and finally leave everything that held us back in 2019 and let it stay there.

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Put Down Shovel

At times we dig deep holes for ourselves and happily jump into them and then we need help to get out.

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I remember from 16 going on 17 to 23 I was bulimic. As a child I was fat, but i can’t say it bothered me at all that I was fat and no one teased me or made it an issue. I knew I ate a lot, but when it was said to me there was no malicious intent and so I was fine with that too. I still did everything I wanted or was allowed to do. So, I climbed all the trees I could find to climb or nearly climb and played ever game there was to play and I had fun doing everything. In short I had a relatively normal healthy amount of fun being a child and not worrying about how I looked.

When I went to high school the things that didn’t bother me started bothering me. Being raised with my grand – sorry great grand parents – my outfits usually were picked with a more mature eye for the most part, and I realized that I did not always dress the same as everyone. This was most evident on registration day when everyone was in jeans and a top and I was in heels and a dress I wore to a wedding! But, my grandmother believed in looking your best on special occasions and for her, going to a traditional high school like St. Jago High was a special occasion. So in my dress I went got registered and made a beeline for the car. Then I did my first medical and there was a girl who was chubbier than I was and people were shocked by her weight, it was doing the medical that made me realize that my body type could be a laughing matter. I was not use to being made fun of only making fun of others!

So as I got older I started realizing all the things I did not have and could not do and started feeling sorry for myself.

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But being bulimic started with a movie – can’t remember the name now – of a girl who died from that eating disorder. And while the movie was to discourage such a practice it provided me with the information I needed to do something I though at nearly 18 I should to, which is change somehow; so, I decided that to impress everyone I would lose some weight for the new school year. After all, though I had naturally lost some weight, I was not as thin as the fashion models or singers I saw on my T.V! I was determined to go back to school looking different at the end of the summer holiday. But because I had never had the patience to do anything that took too long to achieve, that movie gave me all the tips I needed, to fast track my goal.

So with information in hand I set about achieving a goal that became an obsession that later became a nightmare. When I saw the results I needed I was not satisfied. People treated me differently and they made something out of the change that made me think I had to keep going no matter what. I ended up in the doctors office time after time but never told them or my grandparents what I was doing – they would kill me, literally. Plus I was getting really ashamed of what I was doing, wanted to stop but could not stop. It was terrible.

But I could tell no one, it was a secret I had to carry to the grave. A bit melodramatic but that was how I was feeling.

It wasn’t until after my grandmother died and I started seeing a psychiatrist that I told someone – my psychiatrist. She helped me to confront my own diabolical thoughts to begin the process of addressing the root cause of my bulimia. Even during my time seeing her I would occasionally binge and vomit and then out of guilt starve myself for a while. But I did eventually stop and though I still feel the odd urge every now and then I do not think it is a place I want to revisit.

I had to find a way to control a habit I had willing nurtured even though I knew it was unhealthy. There was no one to blame, no session to recount all the terrible things that had been done to me. All I could do was admit that I had made the decision that created one of the worst periods of my young life and accept and use the tools at my disposal to get myself back on save ground. It is a lesson I hope I never forget

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