My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in what is yours…
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
a person is a person through other persons…
Nguni proverb
Ubuntu: (South African: Xhosa, Zulu)
Ubuntu is a Nguni Bantu term which means humanity. The term is often translated as, “I am because we are” or “humanity towards others”, though there are many other translations of the term it has been identified by ThoughtCo as a humanist philosophy associated with Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. It is identified further as behaving well towards others or acting in a way that benefits the community . for others also, Ubuntu is a soul-force: actual metaphysical connection shared between people and which helps us connect to each other. Ubuntu will push one toward selfless acts.
In life you know you have your own race to run and so you run it. You find yourself in front as you approach the finish line. You know you will win. Ahead of that win is a large some of money, a title and fame. You are running your race and you feel really good, you are now almost there. Then from the corner of your eye you see someone has collapsed, He or she has fallen by the wayside. What do you do? Do you leave the person there because you have a race to win or do you leave him or her there until you have finished your race? If you stop to help you will forfeit the win but if you continue you can win and then go help. Many may feel that option two is a win win situation. You win and then you help. But while you are there celebrating your win you may forget about the distress of that one person; as hundreds of well wishers surround you. Even worse, while you celebrate that win that person who is still where you last saw them is slowly losing the battle of life.
Will you embrace the concept of Ubuntu, act against your own self- interest and self-ratification to support someone in need? In the process you would be building each other up.
Simon Cheprot helps Kenneth Kipkemoi cross the finish line after he collapsed during the IAAF Okpekpe International 10-kilometre race on May 25, 2019 in Nigeria. (source: Daily Nation)
Happiness has been defined as a sense of well-being, joy and contentment. Many also label it as an allusive state – living life with a sense of meaning and deep satisfaction. According to Psychology Today, happiness can improve a persons physical health and a longer lifespan. They further point to research that indicates that happiness is under our personal control.
Sadly many of us are not aware of this truth. we attach our happiness to specific persons or things around us, “I’m happy if you’re happy” or “I’ll be happy when I get this”. Does this sound familiar? Some also wait on a major achievement to be happy, but happiness is a habit, a lifestyle. We must not expect someone to give us the key to happiness, we already have it, we have just misplaced it. We have to find the things that bring us joy and do them regularly; we need to pursue challenges that we thrive on, setting goals at regular intervals and make sure we meet them and finding purpose beyond our limited world; all can bring much satisfaction. But, it seems that we are always pursuing happiness.
Happiness and Being Content
Contentment has been defined as the state of being happy and satisfied. This does not mean that at a certain point in life we stop striving to improve, but it’s more about being happy with where you are at a given point in your life- whether that place is good or bad to you. In other words consider the words of Paul in Philippians 4: 11-12 :
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
While we should all, like Paul, get our source of contentment from God, we can consider the level of happiness we want to attain.
Many today are fixated on Laetus, and come to realize that this is just a temporary fix – money can’t buy happiness, even if it gets us everything else. Then there are those who work hard to catch up and pass the person just ahead and flex their success in the faces of others. But once ahead they don’t know where to go and end up on a slippery slop downhill. Also, those who feed the poor and take care of the sick but still feel empty because their intentions are questionable. The fourth level seems almost impossible. If the last is based on pursuing your potential, then many are screwed. Many do not know how to fulfill their potential – many don’t know what that is . The first three are also measurable and immediate but the last is not. True lasting happiness I have come to realize is not based on how much you have but how content you are. It’s about seeing someone else succeed and not feeling pressured to measure up. Also, it’s about knowing who you are -good and bad – and accepting all of it as being a part of you. It’s about losing everything you thought you would die without and still being able to smile, laugh out loud and even see a spark of new life just ahead. Happiness, true happiness is not devoid of pain and disappointments. It is when you are able to see beyond the negative and embrace the positive. It is when you go through both water and fire, transformed for the better.
The poem below, by Derek Walcott reflects the idea that our happiness rest on acknowledging that events can impact us but not decide our sense of well being. That even after the baptism of fire, we can see the green breath among the rubble.
A City’s Death by Fire
After that hot gospeller has levelled all but the churched sky, I wrote the tale by tallow of a city’s death by fire; Under a candle’s eye, that smoked in tears, I Wanted to tell, in more than wax, of faiths that were snapped like wire. All day I walked abroad among the rubbled tales, Shocked at each wall that stood on the street like a liar; Loud was the bird-rocked sky, and all the clouds were bales Torn open by looting, and white, in spite of the fire. By the smoking sea, where Christ walked, I asked, why Should a man wax tears, when his wooden world fails? In town, leaves were paper, but the hills were a flock of faiths; To a boy who walked all day, each leaf was a green breath Rebuilding a love I thought was dead as nails, Blessing the death and the baptism by fire.
I thought I would revisit the topic of saying goodbye because there are many times when we not only have to say goodbye but need to do so.
I am sure there are persons who are very sad or even depressed because they have come to this crossroads. You stand at the intersection looking back at what was and mourn the loss of it. It is a deep and painful chasm that can paralyze you for life. Many persons do not recover from them because it may be for them, a revolving door of goodbyes.
We may have to say goodbye to things and people who have become toxic; we love them but we cannot live with them. We may also have to say goodbye to hobbies or a job that is slowly destroying the best of us.
Saying goodbye sometimes only mean “see you later, when things get better”. It doesn’t mean you were never there and you did not value the experiences while it lasted; it simply means that in order to keep your head above water, you had to make a sudden detour. You have to take another path all by yourself but you have not forgotten the ones you had to leave behind, It doesn’t mean you will never support them or continue to love them. This time you will not be there to laugh, play, celebrate or cry with them; you’ll be somewhere looking on and cheering for them, still supporting them.
Having to say goodbye over and over again will help you to hold the people that matter the most tighter when you’re with them, to appreciate them ten times more. And when it’s time to let go, you can celebrate the fact that you grew together, ate and slept together and at that moment in time, it was all that mattered and it was enough…
Most of the time, we see only what we want to see, or what others tell us to see, instead of really investigate to see what is really there. We embrace illusions only because we are presented with the illusion that they are embraced by the majority. When in truth, they only become popular because they are pounded at us by the media with such an intensity and high level of repetition that its mere force disguises lies and truths. And like obedient schoolchildren, we do not question their validity and swallow everything up like medicine. Why? Because since the earliest days of our youth, we have been conditioned to accept that the direction of the herd, and authority anywhere — is always right.
The quote above really got my attention and so, while it is lengthy I put it here for us to consider why we want to succeed. The question came to me from nowhere it seems. Why do you want to succeed? what is your ulterior motive. What is the intrinsic value of our need to be successful in life.
Many persons never stop to ask themselves these questions. We want that promotion, we want the recognition, we want that degree, we want and want and need that thing that will say to others that we are achievers and overachievers. But we never stop to question the authenticity of the wantings. So, if we want a certain type of success, is it because it is a part of our plan or did we see the awards and recognitions being collected by someone and decide that that is what we should be aiming for. Like a careless driver who makes u-turn in a no u-turn area, do we spin around, likely endangering the lives of others, to chase someone else’s dream?
And there are some who want success because they feel future successes will wipe out past failures. So it is not that we necessarily believe in the things we want, but we believe they will vindicate a guilty conscience and make it easier for us to look in the mirror. However, what we may need to do before we move on to embracing the success we desire is to appreciate the role that those failures had in our impending success. Instead of being afraid to fail we should embrace failure as a means to success. If you do not fall how will you get up? We should always know and believe that even in the midst of our success failure is waiting in the wings to enter stage right once more.
Another thought provoking response to this question is this:
when we talk and think success, is it achievement or accomplishment based? If it is to achieve then the goal post for your success will always be measured by an external entity and you may spend your whole life, spent trying to reach an unachievable goal set you. You may find yourself about to achieve that thing you spent so much time on, when suddenly you are told you have to do one more little thing and then that becomes another, eventually with no end in sight. First you need to know that if you do not have the talent to sing well you can’t be a successful singer ( unless you have the money and or right connections, then who knows!). But know your strengths, your weaknesses, what you will be willing to fight to get simply because it matters to youand maybe no on else. Then you can say, I have accomplished what I need to accomplish and will reap the right rewards. Accomplishing comes before achieving.
There is nothing wrong with success but we need to check ourselves when we fervently chase it. Do we do so because it really matters to us or is it, just because?
As we work hard to get to our goals, let us remember; in life we do not get what we deserve but we almost always get what we expect. Also in every situation, our perception drives our reality.Let fearless faith drive our actions and not terrifying fear.
ramblrWrites.com 