Tag: living your best life

I’ll Slay My Goliath!

I can feel the sweat pouring down my face. Or is it my blood. I know there is a metallic taste in my mouth that no a mount of mouth wash or toothpaste can dislodge. I feel my heart trying to escape my chest but the bars of its cell keeps it at bay. There is a sharp ringing pounding me and I don’t know if it is within or outside. All I know is I cannot stop. I must no fail…

Though go blind and the world disappears I know this road like the back of my hand. I do not need to see where I am going, because I know what I have to do. But then again a loosening of the earth nearly becomes my undoing as I am drawn tighter than any string in any bow. When I thought I have recovered from the mishap of nearly falling then macka juk mi and nearly kill mi. Yet still I am too tough to be defeated so easily by this spear of the soil; it becomes a part of me like osmosis.

Though the spear and sword and shield and helmet and shoes and bag and, God knows what else was too much, what I have is enough; just me nothing else but God. Even when confusion comes to mix mi up and twist mi round, I will not stand still, frozen in fear of the what ifs.

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Though small, I’ll be large and wide and deep to take on anything that thinks I can be contained in its small shortsightedness. I’ll grow in a moment to heights unheard of, a wonder yet unseen.

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And when each time I stand before this enemy that has become my shadow I will not hesitate to let loose a hailstone of the power within. And I will make sure that when the curtain is lifted I will be the last one standing.

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My Truth

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free

John 8:32

When you make a mistake how far does it follow you before it lets you life. How long do you have to feel the weight of it before the burden is removed?

The truth is, many people do not like the version of the truth they are told, if it differs from what they expect. They like the thrill of a secret until they know what it is. They are intrigued by your mystery until they discover it, and realize that it’s really not that deep!

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I am sure we can all admit that from time to that we make mistakes – unless you are delusional. Everyone does something that they are not proud of. Yet, we are so quick to condemn each other when we are not in the hot seat . It’s especially easy to do when things are going well for us; when we don’t have to look in the mirror, when we are not faced with our mistakes. We can quite happily pretend that all is right in our world and we, unlike mere mortals, are the example and certainly not the rule.

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Then there are those who would love to reveal their imperfect beings, but those around them do not offer them the grace to be human. They listen carefully to what others say about them and they realize that they have to hide a part of who they are, because people do not want to see or acknowledge a side they do not understand. So some mistakes are never seen. But, because it is never seen, does it mean it never happened? Does it mean that those who make certain types of mistakes are absolved of them, when they are not expected to fess up?

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It’s funny how many want to hear they truth until they do:

all you have to do is just tell the truth…

you know what they say, and the truth shall set you free…

Yes my friends, free until you really start doing the telling.

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What they don’t tell you is that they want the pleasant truth, the one that will not make them feel uncomfortable. Only the truth that makes sense for them will do; not your truth. Sometimes the truth is the last thing that people want to hear and so they never do. Instead many of us pretend to be what we hope will go down easily, make us accepted and we find out too late that even in telling a truth that’s not the truth we may not be accepted; it was never going to happen. The truth is funny and sometimes a slippery slope to your demise when people celebrate the lie that comforts, lies that have been institutionalized. We hang on too long to things that no longer work. We do this when the truth is harder to tell than the lies that soothe. When we have moved on in every way but physically, it’s not because we want to but because even though we have said in every way that we are ready, no one really listens. And if we are honest the lies allow us to belong on the inside – because who really wants to stand on the outside looking in?

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So we wait too long to get the courage to tell our truth and live it. We pass up opportunities to break free from a glass house that can be shattered at anytime. So what should we do? Maybe we just need to take a chance on ourselves and just live our truth.

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Right Time!

“When the time is right, life will have a meaning.
When the time is right, world will be bright again.
When the time is right, things will fall into place.
Just remember, never regret.”

― Akash Lakhotia

Today I woke up late. But I was not late.

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I woke up- God forbid- over an hour late and this is unheard of! But today I woke up not when the alarmed at 4 a.am. but when a voice smugly asked if the alarmed had gone over an hour ago. Normally I would panic, cuss and cry -dry tears of course- and wonder if crosses ( Jamaican:problems, causing trials ) would follow me all day.

But today was different. I decided not to rush things, not to stress but take things easy and just do what I had to do and leave in a good mood. And when I was ready to leave, I left. I reached the bus park, without looking at the time through my journey from my house to catch a taxi to when I reached to catch the bus . When I reached the bus unlike other days there was no line because the bus was already there – I did not have to wait for half an hour or more for one. At the steps of the bus, there was a man in front of me and because I was unsure if there were any empty seats left, I asked him to check for me- but he did not. So I stepped up, fully prepared to step out if there was none – standing all the way to U.W.I is not easy with the morning traffic! Alas, there were many seats available for me to pick and choose from and that’s exactly what I did. And as I sat I realized that today, when I woke late and decided not to panic was the day I got the 6:30 bus I had been trying to get every week since taking this route. Imagine that, I really was not late, it was the right time!

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I started thinking about all the times I had gotten up early to catch this particular bus and never made it in time. I remember once reaching before it left only to realize there was no seat for me and there were many already standing. Though I was disappointed I had no choice but to wait on the next one. When things are meant to be all you need to do is show up at the right time and with the right attitude. I realized that the level of stress I have been experiencing lately,was really unnecessary. Though there are many things I want to do, and wish I could do them ALL now, it simply is not the right time. Instead what we all should do is make sure we are prepared to act when the right time comes along. Even though I thought I was late I had already prepared what to wear the day before, done my hair so I wouldn’t have to do it in the morning – I would have time but you never know – and I already knew what I was taking with me. I have been feeling really tired and so I needed that extra hour of rest. So when I woke there was no need to panic, just do what I had to and go. I didn’t stop to cuss and worry, because that would have slowed me down.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that at the end of the day we have so much control and no more. So, when we think we are late or behind in any way, we need to know that we are always on time when we accept and work with God’s time.