Tag: daydreaming

Daydreaming Away Reality

People tell you that when you get older you need to live in the “Real World”. You need to live in REALITY. What if you cannot cope in the real world? what then? Many of us turn to daydreaming and away from living in the harsh light of the NOW because we need an escape. For a moment or some moments, we can envision everything we lack in the reality that is our lives. We can say what we always wanted to say to the people who seem too large and too terrifying in our lives. In the reality of our dreams, we can vanquish our enemies, solve our problems, conquering fears too frightening to give voice to. We can be clean when we have become corrupted by mistakes, ill-advised actions or wayward thoughts. It is a comforting place. Until you are dragged back to everything you vanquished in your mind. you have to, you need to, you must. Anxiety-inducing thoughts that seem to follow you until you lock it out with the door of your imagination.

But those menacing enemies, worries and fears linger in the woods of reality waiting to pounce when you emerge from your castle of dreams. So you find yourself staying more often in your castle refusing to be confronted by these monsters in the woods. Then, you are not satisfied with leaving and returning but feel the need to stay and build the castle wall higher and higher until reality does not exist only your dreams…Is real life worth coming back to?

There are many articles on how maladaptive daydreaming is dangerous yet many still and will part take. The thing is, many people will daydream but not everyone will be negatively affected by the act of daydreaming. Immersive daydreaming has been recognised as harmless once it does not interfere with our day-to-day lives. We all need a little escape from our present circumstances from time to time, but do we want to live more in the real world or be enchanted by our dreams? Where are you right now in 2025? Has your daydreaming gone over the edge to maladaptive or are you able to pull back leave your castle face those monsters and win?

A Prisoner in Your Head: Maladaptive Daydreaming a Blessing or Curse?

My story is my story not mal not adaptive and certainly not daydreaming! 2024 has been a hard year. It has threatened to drown me. I could not swim. I had no life jacket – only the dreams in my head. I would sit for hours reflecting on my failings and then reject my reality for my daydream. In this world, I create I can be anybody – and everybody. I never fail or make a mistake. I could edit my stories until they satisfied me. I felt free. For a few hours, I was free.

I was the best in my world. I felt no pain. No one hurt me or did me wrong. In my world I was strong. I did not need anybody else. I could build my island and eject or admit whoever I please. But it was mine, in a world where I had no space. I went into my head. I stayed there for an hour to find the grace to come back into my hell for a time. But I knew anywhere any time I could go back and be safe.

“You are falling behind.” “You better pay attention.” No. I can stay for however long I want and the world will stop to let me be. Who could say what hour or the time of day, but me, I made it so. But things got slow in the real world and so my fake world became real and the real became fake and then I got confused. I became locked in my world and lost the key longer and longer each time. I stayed there a willing prisoner and hoped no one would notice or at least would not burst the bubble.

But while they label my world, a “compulsive fantasy” and try to attach blame I remain committed to my prison. There is nothing more important than saving my world, I can allow those childish dreams to die because they were never real. Those wish upon a star dreams never came true and left with what to do I crafted a new world and planted seeds that would take root. While I must physically stay in the world I now hate more and more, I crave the world no one sees but me. I crave it more than food, more than the air I breath

Maladaptive Daydreaming and God

I never thought that daydreaming was a problem. Yes, there were times when daydreaming became the best part of my day. When I couldn’t wait to get from school or later work, to continue with my daydreaming. When I did not want to be interrupted, or talk to anyone because I was good in this space I was crafting for myself. It was my space. There were nights when my dreams were based on my daydreaming, it was so good! So good in fact that I lost touch with reality and my daydreams seemed more real, feasible and comforting than my actual day-to-day life. Even in sleep, it was with me, continuing the escape and pleasure I experienced in my waking hours. Do you see the problem? If not let me tell you: daydreaming took me further from God as I relied on them to help me get through whatever struggles I had, not only did I escape the realities of my problems but the reality of God. Could I have developed a reliance on my daydreams to the detriment of my relationship with God?

Once I realised that my daydreaming was getting out of hand I started leaning into God more, or so I thought. Yes, I would read my bible. As a matter of fact, I have read the whole bible more than once but without much conviction. I learned specific scriptures, but there was no fire behind my efforts. I still went back to daydreaming. I chose it over building a solid relationship with God. There were times when directly after my devotion, I would go back to daydreaming. Trying to fit everything in my day, trying to hit all the checkboxes and getting nowhere it seems. And the inconsistency in my walk with God has become a cyclical dilemma that I have not gotten a hold of. I have been daydreaming it seems all my life, could it really be that bad?

It can be. When we spend too much time in our daydreams we spend less time with real people and even worse, we give little of our time to God. We expect God to wait until we are finished and we can use leftover time to get to Him. What a thought. What a terrible thought! It does take us further from God – But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15). My daydream takes me to places and provides things I cannot get in my reality, desires that are not authentic to God. Simply put, daydreaming can actually reflect opposition to the will and truth of God. So what takes over? Well if left to its own devices our daydreaming can open our thoughts to be controlled by the devil. I remember I was so angry with a situation that did not work out in my favour that the person involved was violently killed in my daydream. I sought retribution on that person, and their family (who I did not know at all) and I threw in some imaginary enemy whom I eviscerated with much gore and took unnatural pleasure in. I totally lost sight that vengeance belonged to the Lord and in no way did I care about forgiveness. It took me down a very dark place and I was not even aware of it because it felt so satisfying. And don’t think I haven’t created situations where I am the victim and face great opposition from everyone and no one is to be trusted I have. I have even shed tears imagining how bad my situation could get! About how if I died that would be so sad but finally people would miss me but by then it would be too late. Man, this thing can get deep!

So think about it, have you allowed whether now or in the past, your daydreaming to take you to and has kept you captive in a dark place. also here is a sobering thought, daydreaming can become a disorder. Where does that leave our relationship with God? Hopefully, we can consider this next time.