Maladaptive Daydreaming and God

I never thought that daydreaming was a problem. Yes, there were times when daydreaming became the best part of my day. When I couldn’t wait to get from school or later work, to continue with my daydreaming. When I did not want to be interrupted, or talk to anyone because I was good in this space I was crafting for myself. It was my space. There were nights when my dreams were based on my daydreaming, it was so good! So good in fact that I lost touch with reality and my daydreams seemed more real, feasible and comforting than my actual day-to-day life. Even in sleep, it was with me, continuing the escape and pleasure I experienced in my waking hours. Do you see the problem? If not let me tell you: daydreaming took me further from God as I relied on them to help me get through whatever struggles I had, not only did I escape the realities of my problems but the reality of God. Could I have developed a reliance on my daydreams to the detriment of my relationship with God?

Once I realised that my daydreaming was getting out of hand I started leaning into God more, or so I thought. Yes, I would read my bible. As a matter of fact, I have read the whole bible more than once but without much conviction. I learned specific scriptures, but there was no fire behind my efforts. I still went back to daydreaming. I chose it over building a solid relationship with God. There were times when directly after my devotion, I would go back to daydreaming. Trying to fit everything in my day, trying to hit all the checkboxes and getting nowhere it seems. And the inconsistency in my walk with God has become a cyclical dilemma that I have not gotten a hold of. I have been daydreaming it seems all my life, could it really be that bad?

It can be. When we spend too much time in our daydreams we spend less time with real people and even worse, we give little of our time to God. We expect God to wait until we are finished and we can use leftover time to get to Him. What a thought. What a terrible thought! It does take us further from God – But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15). My daydream takes me to places and provides things I cannot get in my reality, desires that are not authentic to God. Simply put, daydreaming can actually reflect opposition to the will and truth of God. So what takes over? Well if left to its own devices our daydreaming can open our thoughts to be controlled by the devil. I remember I was so angry with a situation that did not work out in my favour that the person involved was violently killed in my daydream. I sought retribution on that person, and their family (who I did not know at all) and I threw in some imaginary enemy whom I eviscerated with much gore and took unnatural pleasure in. I totally lost sight that vengeance belonged to the Lord and in no way did I care about forgiveness. It took me down a very dark place and I was not even aware of it because it felt so satisfying. And don’t think I haven’t created situations where I am the victim and face great opposition from everyone and no one is to be trusted I have. I have even shed tears imagining how bad my situation could get! About how if I died that would be so sad but finally people would miss me but by then it would be too late. Man, this thing can get deep!

So think about it, have you allowed whether now or in the past, your daydreaming to take you to and has kept you captive in a dark place. also here is a sobering thought, daydreaming can become a disorder. Where does that leave our relationship with God? Hopefully, we can consider this next time.