Caught Self-Sabotaging…

If you are wondering why you can never get things done and why things seem to get out of control. Well maybe you are to blame. You may be feeling good because you did your best but things just don’t work out because of everyone else. Why do you feel good? Well it’s not your fault you can’t catch a break and you are the victim and they the villain. It’s not your fault.

One day you see yourself creeping down Procrastination Avenue, trying to find permanent residence while your plans, left unattended begin to fall a part. But just before you reach that sweet spot to” rest”, you decide to detour and stop at the Trivial Cafe, where you can do everything except what you really need to do. You have to check your witter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube… so much going on, you do not want to have F.O.M.O.

Once that is has been taken care of then you find a quiet bench just outside and you spend two weeks planning what your plan will be to replace the last plan that you killed with avoidance and neglect. Upon non-completion of this plan, you tell yourself a bed time story of why it was inevitable that the plan for the plan is incomplete, “It seems I was never cut out to really plan anything. I was never good enough…” When you are done with your Pity Party, you find enough strength to get up, to head to the Halls of Regret, where you revisit old mistakes and reopen wounds you told everyone had healed properly.

Because you have re-injured yourself you decide that this is it, you will make a stop at The Quite Tree of Everything . “I will try again when I heal“. But then you begin to think that this was all a sign and you wonder if it really makes sense to even try. While you are there wondering whether to move or not, along come some friends and they begin to talk. Two months later you are still in the same spot they talk and leave, come and go and all you have to do is just be there to listen, help out and support. They report all the things happening with them, but you have nothing to report. All this time you have been in the same spot waiting to listen to them. At this point you forget what you had been planning to do. So you sit and wait to remember at your spot.