Freedom from maladaptive daydreaming

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that

Courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase

Martin Luther King Jr.

Maladaptive daydreaming is straying from God. The more we get caught up in our imagined make-believe world the less time we have to know God. I know I have been willing to spend hours creating a world of mine to the exclusion of God. The door was not opened in this world, and even if there was a knock, I was too distracted to hear and answer. I was the architect in my world and determined how far I could go. At that point, it felt like freedom, but the truth is I was trapped in my head.

The trick is to focus on God, the things of God, the people of God and less on the self. Focus less on what makes you anxious and what drives your fear, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 6-7, NKJV). Don’t daydream your life away, give everything to God, get out and live, not in your head but in the real world. There is nothing worse than deciding you and not God knows what’s best for you. That’s not true: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Once you break free you realise that daydreaming solves nothing and is just another prison. The word of God is clear: “For freedom, Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). There is no easy cure, however, the best remedy is spending time with God and the word of God. This for me is a work in progress, cause I am still and forever will be under construction. So, instead of seeking after the high of a make-believe world, one should, “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” Matthew 6:33-34).

Think about this, maladaptive daydreaming can lead you to become paranoid. You think things that are not true, everyone is your enemy and everything is against you. This is a nightmare, not a dream. The only way to overcome this is to focus on the word of God because as it says in Philippians 4: 8: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” What is true does not necessarily come from our imagination. Instead, we should do as instructed in 2 Corinthians 10:5: We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

Your traumas do not define you unless you let them. You cannot drive out darkness by allowing darkness to drive or motivate you. Being a maladaptive daydreamer gives you a foggy memory – sounds familiar – you waste so much time and so you cannot get to your purpose and do the work God has called you to do and so it seems that you are moving cyclically instead on the straight path of progress, you may feel confused, have suicidal or lustful thoughts that really do not align with God or your purpose, you hate your reality and so to escape you start having suicidal thoughts. Does this have anything to do with God? If God is worthy how can we spend so much time on everything else except Him? Madness that we see as normal. Do not be lost in your thoughts as it may entangle you and trap you there for the rest of your life.

Nothing in life is easy and it seems there are a million things to trip you up. However, we have a God who is more than able to allow us to overcome them all. So, we need to trust him more and our imaginations less. Well, that’s all for now.