Chrysalis

The wait is hard
painful
cracked and shattered-
pieces fall apart,
broken
pulled
reimagined
I shed 
constantly - 
it was easier in the dirt - 
one should not dream too loftily
at least I knew that mess. 
This dark unknown
somehow must postpone
turn back the hands of time
yet- 
I struggle
towards a gaping light
against my will, 
with its promise of delightful flight.
"Caterpillars need to try real hard"
who speak?
who dare patronize me?
I stopped,
exhausted
angry still,
why try so hard?
This cold silken shroud
my forever resting place may be.
"You must struggle to get your wings
shed the weight 
capture your essence".
Could it be true?
No He lies!
Silence still.
If I tried 
could I find
a greater something else?
I hesitate.
I contemplate.
cold sweat laps up my fears.
Though Afraid shadows me
I must resist
to reach the heights of something new.
I must try, the larvae must die.
I must struggle towards the light 
whether 4 or 40 
the door must open,
this testing must end.