Maladaptive Daydreaming

Do you know this term? I was today years old when I came across it and at first glance, I thought, “Well that sounds like some weird stuff, there is no way it could apply to me”. But alas it does!. I am not happy about this because of what it is. According to Medical News Today, “Maladaptive daydreaming is a term that refers to when a person spends an excessive amount of time daydreaming. Often, this behaviour may be developed as part of a coping mechanism”. Though it cannot be formally diagnosed it still bears some consideration and exploration. As a child, I went to live with my grandparents and I remember there was an empty lot right across the street from where I lived I somehow transformed the Macka trees into a landscape of rolling lush hills and green carpets of grass, where I was coming from in the country. In my eyes, it was the same place just in a different location and I did that for several places in the new environment I was living in. I missed my previous home and I wanted to go back but couldn’t, so I used my imagination to take me back there. Over the years I have lost myself in my many imaginations, daydreaming about alternate realities that combat disappointment, fear and boredom with my life. They were comforting and I felt necessary to tune out the pain and disappointment with reality. It was my escape.

I have tried over the years to daydream less as I try to be a big girl, but there are days when life seems too much and a quick fix seems to go a long way. However, it is not a healthy practice. It is a form of dissociation, simply put is a lack of connection to yourself and the world around you, it allows us to mentally take a break from reality. It separates us from our friends and family because we spend so much time in our own imagined world and affects our productivity. Guilty, guilty guilty! Now what? Where do you go with this information then? I am an adult so why haven’t I completely banished this seeming childhood escape mechanism. The simple truth is new traumas are added to our lives quite often. We each find our own way of escaping these traumas.

I learned that one coping mechanism is walking. I love to walk. Somehow walking makes me feel as if I am reclaiming my autonomy. I feel as if I am walking away from a prison to my freedom. Of course, at some point, I have to go back to my cage. But for a couple minutes or a few hours, I can walk of my own will, anywhere I want to without feeling pressed in. I also am distracted by what I see around me or of late the biting cold. Sometimes as I walk I talk to God and tell him how I feel and my worries. That helps me but it does not last. Hopefully, I can find out some more about this and how to cope with ways of dealing with stress and traumas from my past that now haunt me and share, but for now, that’s all folks.